When things get hard in life it’s easy to start questioning the decisions we’ve made and look back for where we made a wrong turn. The same goes with pregnancy and motherhood. Often times, society or media romanticizes pregnancy and motherhood and displays it as a time of blissful happiness. While joy may accompany pregnancy or being a mom, it is certainly not the only or most common feeling parents experience.
I have heard from multiple clients that there is pressure to be excited, joyful, or giddy while pregnant or anticipating being a mom. Often this leads to a disconnect when a woman feels nervous, unsure, or unexcited about her pregnancy or child. As human beings we have a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others and to judge ourselves when we feel we do not live up to expectations we perceive from our society or environment.
Social media is a good example of this: we see excitement over pregnancy or birth announcements, gender reveals, babies meeting milestones and moms looking beautifully put together and having it all. Reality is that we are not seeing the daily struggles, the days or weeks without sleep or showering, or the moments of breakdown when your baby or child has a bad day or a tantrum.
The external expectations we often experience are to be perfect, to be happy, and to be excited and sure about the choices we have made. The truth is that it is extremely difficult to be pregnant or a mom and some days are better than others. Let’s celebrate the happy and enjoyable moments but let's also be real.
It’s real to question your decision about getting pregnant or having a baby. It is normal to be scared that this will change your life and that you can never go back to how things were. It is real to have moments of doubt, in your decisions or in your ability to handle it! What’s real is recognizing that there will be moments of sadness, regret, or feeling that you can’t do it.
The good news is that by recognizing this disconnect and allowing yourself to let go of external expectations you can start to focus on your own expectations of yourself and your life and can start to find true happiness and confidence in your abilities and decisions.
For help getting through the rough times, consider contacting Brittney for a counseling appointment. 512-522-4783 or firstname.lastname@example.org