Trying To Conceive: An Adventure in Baby Making
Once you’ve decided to jump on the baby making train its all fun and games right?!
Ideally, trying to conceive is fun, enjoyable, and exciting. It’s a simple concept that most adults have been practicing for years! Of course the process is different for each couple, some people seem to simply think of getting pregnant, look at each other and boom, they’re pregnant! For others it can take years of trying to get pregnant before they get the elusive double line on a home pregnancy test. And not only is each couple different but each time of trying can be different among the same couple!
Realistically, trying to conceive can be stressful, time consuming, chore-like, and overwhelming. With each month of trying to conceive comes more stress and pressure to be pregnant. The first sign of the woman’s period can feel devastating and hopeless. Some people consider methods to help them try to conceive such as tracking ovulation, body temperature and cervical mucus. These methods can sometimes make sex start to feel like a chore and can hinder the physical or emotional connection between the couple. If trying to conceive takes more time than expected people can often start to feel overwhelmed and consumed by thoughts of when they will get pregnant or why they are not. This can easily effect a person’s overall mood, self esteem and ability to function at home, work, or socially.
If you, your partner, or someone you know is struggling with trying to conceive, here are a few tips to help cope during this process:
Only track what feels manageable! Taking ovulation tests, waking up early to catch your basal body temperature, and monitoring your cervical mucus can be helpful tools to pinpoint the most fertile time to have sex. These methods also can give some feeling of control in a process that can often feel mysterious or confusing. However if these methods feel too time consuming, start to feel pointless, or are driving you crazy, give one, two or all of them up! At least for a time give yourself a break and you can always restart them when you feel ready.
Take time together as a couple for non-sexual activities. Try connecting on an intellectual, spiritual, emotional or experiential level. Ideas include discussing a favorite book or topic, making travel plans, worshipping or experiencing nature together, being vulnerable and sharing feelings (happy or sad!), asking open ended questions and really listening to the response, sharing experiences such as exercise, a movie or other activity/experience you enjoy together.
Remind each other that it takes time for many couples to conceive. I remember my OBGYN telling me that the average couple who is actively trying to get pregnant takes 7 months to conceive. And if you are concerned with the length of time that it is taking to conceive don’t hesitate to talk with a medical professional. There are tests out there that can tell you and your partner more about your personal fertility.
If you are struggling emotionally with trying to conceive consider reaching out to a therapist for support. Therapy is a useful tool to help you process your emotions and get feed back and support from an unbiased and understanding person. If you are in the Austin area and looking for a therapist, I specialize in therapy for people who are dealing with issues related to pregnancy! Please feel free to contact me at 512-522-4783 or firstname.lastname@example.org